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On Womdn night, the Bell House in Gowanus made a whole-hog conversion into a shrine to the primal, paternal wonderment that is male facial hair. Artists set up stands in the front bar area to sell assorted beard- and mustache-themed trinkets—false mustaches, mustache-shaped pendants carved out of wood and other totems to the postpubescent male face.

More than a competition, the Brooklyn Beard Fest and Stache Bash was a celebration of the face bush, perhaps the most oft-overlooked signifier of male sexuality.

Hairy women in New york age of clean-shaven male models has engendered a counterculture of pent-up desire for the beard, and Beard Fest had arrived to create a sexual market where the demand could be supplied.

Dunsmoor told The Observer. In the back room, stylists from The Parlour Brooklyn in Greenpoint were shaping beards and offering grooming tips Hairy women in New york would-be competitors. She cautioned against straight lines; a close shave that abuts a bushy beard creates an unpleasant chin-strap effect, and so the trick is to create some gradation.


Men should also condition their beards and layer their mustaches, she advised. Beards are sexy—but only with proper maintenance.

Soon we were stopped to be photographed by the young Hairy women in New york of a lumberjack-focused blog. Which is really hot. Onstage, the women of Storybook Burlesque, adorned with press-on mustaches, ramped up the musk factor. She Hariy up the writhing performance by pulling a glittering, limp object from her underwear—was it a fish?

In the Avant Garde competition, Simon, who sported a handlebar mustache adorned with flowers on the tips, told Ms. Toward the end of the program, Neckbeard Telecaster took the stage. Of the 10 members, two played Telecasters and one had an honest-to-God neckbeard.

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Two had mustaches, five had full beards, two had stubble. One was clean shaven; he sang backup vocals and played tambourine.

The winner of the Tom Selleck award played lap steel guitar. Outside, the lumberjack blogger was talking to Nick, a recent Portland transplant. Later, at the bar, The Observer asked Nick if he had really won the luxurious beard competition.

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