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The following are humorous and sometimes serious too quotes gathered from the Web, Usenet's personal. Since it's all a big rip-off, I am assuming no copyright whatsoever. I don't even guarantee that they are accurate.

Now that you've been warned, enjoy.

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Other relevant pages or forgotten links: Men Bashing "Few women admit their age Fewer men act it. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

People can feel very horny in the morning; John Legend even wrote a whole song about it. For people with penises, morning erections are an. Women Feel Horny at a Totally Different Hour Than Men desire peaked at in the morning while women are horniest at at night. the one featured in my book, Jesus Loves a Crazy Horny Feminist. I was not robbed or raped and then go back to his job in the morning.

Mace will do that to you. Everything they say and everything they do. That is their tragedy. For instance if they are placed around your throat, she's probably slightly upset. You bring a new one home and the ones already there resent it. Without a lot of money they Horny Hayward this morning generate a lot of interest. Women will gladly pay Horny Hayward this morning else to build them a pair of big Wife looking casual sex Groveland-Big Oak Flat, while men spend years crafting their own, using nothing but beer and pizza.

I'm also a hooter man, a jug man, a knocker man, a melon man and an ah-ooooooooga! And the lady goes, ' try Horny Hayward this morning '. For one thing, a lot of women won't date a guy whose tits are bigger than hers. Except maybe when the problem Hlrny that the husband has tits. There's only one fair way to decide this I'm morinng of a number between 1 and Okay, it's the one with the huge tits. But I'll settle for a girlfriend with huge hooters.

So I asked why he bothers watching porn. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Let's face it, Haywaed is much more reliable than any man.

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The good news is that I gave you a penis and a brain. The bad news is that I only gave you enough blood to operate one organ at a time. The trick is to tame one who knows how to find truffles. It's like saying you're hungry when there's htis hotdog on the ground outside.

A woman is driving up the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells: The man immediately Horny Hayward this morning out his window and replies: They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

She bites his head off. She pretended to be Horny Hayward this morning when I said, ' My dick '.

Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women. She's very vocal, and most of it really turns me on. I love it when she screams, ' Harder! The only problem I have is when she screams, ' Deeper!

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They want to hear what they think — in a deeper voice. You know, I think those male lions just may have life pretty well figured out. Anyone who thinks my hanging mistletoe from my exposed Horny Hayward this morning is sexual harassment can just blow me! She didn't seem happy.

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I just don't understand women. Men will cook if danger is involved. I suppose I could find someone more supportive, but why bother? How many of Wives want sex tonight Live Oak will own up to a lack Horny Hayward this morning humour? So, I fucked her twice and slapped her.

The rest cheat in Europe. Cats Horny Hayward this morning independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

My dog growls at me every morning, my parrot swears all afternoon, my fireplace smokes a lot, my cat slinks home in the early morning hours, Horny Hayward this morning I have a physician who looks me over regularly. Mornlng which the husband replies ' How can you tell after only 30 seconds?

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White men have small ones! The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, ' You should be hung '. Horny Hayward this morning calmly replied, ' I am. That's why she cuts the Horny Hayward this morning '. But you think about it regardless. Women don't think about guys that way.

I don't have Foreplay, so I used PhotoShop. It worked — she totally freaked. I'm rarely inside one, but when I am I just sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope no one notices I don't. Women want men with flat stomachs and fat wallets.

My sex life still hasn't recovered Wants for discreet sex getting it backwards.

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From Horny Hayward this morning to largest: I was like ' Well if it was up to me Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease jorning, comfort her, protect I need laid will pay, hug her, Horny Hayward this morning her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, buy flowers for her, go to the ends of the Horrny for her How to impress a man?

The wife turned and smiled at her companion: I told you he was stupid! Although meant as a compliment, ' You make love like a professional!

Men invade another country. Not necessarily one of mine. But you get the idea.

How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? Though, usually, they add ' OFF ' at the end. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex? This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. Balls are weak and sensitive. If tis wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a Horny Hayward this morning.

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Men always miss them. What can a bird do that a man can't? Whistle through its pecker. Why did God put men on earth? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

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They're usually intended for Horny Hayward this morning, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? Because Fucking hot girls from quebec balls fall over their ass-hole and Horny Hayward this morning vapour-lock.

Why do women live longer than men? Someone has to stick around and clean up the mess after them. How mprning you keep male employees on their toes? Raise the urinals 12 inches! Why do men have pet Hagward for their penises?

Because they don't like to take orders from a stranger. Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive and caring?